виц

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Виц: В съда тече бракоразводно дело. Съдията пита съпругата:
– Защо се омъжихте за този човек, след като е абсолютен алкохолик?
– Господин съдия, това е въпросът. Омъжих се за него, защото си мислех, че щом един мъж пие всеки ден, значи печели добри пари…
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Лондонски хотел. Британски лорд към слугата си:
– Джон, имам чувството, че си забравих чадъра в апартамента. Иди до апартамент 912 и виж дали е там, до камината!
Джон хуква по стълбището, защото асансьорите не работят. Връща се и докладва:
– Сър, там е. Да Ви го донеса ли?
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Две блондинки отиват на зъболекар. Лято е, топло, двете са с къси ефирни полички. Идва ред на първата блондинка – зъболекарят я поканва в кабинета. Разкръстосвайки краката да стане, зъболекарят вижда бикините й. Влиза блондинката и сяда на стола.
– Отворете си устата – казва зъболекарят – Искате ли сега оттук да ви кажа цвета на бикините ви?
Излиза блондинката развълнувана и казва на приятелката си:
– Леле, този зъболекар е върха. През устата ми видя бикините!
Влиза втората блондинка. Сяда на стола, разкрачва си краката и казва:
– А сега, докторе, бихте ли видели оттук, кой зъб ме боли?
***** ***** **** ***** ***** ****** ***** ***** ***** ****** ***** ******Мъж отива с блондинка на лов. Вижда една патица, стреля, уцелва и патицата пада на земятаМъж отива с блондинка на лов. Вижда една патица, стреля, уцелва и патицата пада на земята:
Блондинка…
Jan 4 2019skafeto.com

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Влиза един човек при бръснаря и пита:
– Колко ще трябва да изчакам, за да се подстрижа?
– Около два часа – отвръща бръснарят.
Човекът си тръгнал. Същото се повтаря и на следващия ден – същият човек влиза, пита колко трябва да изчака и си тръгва. На третия ден се повторило същото и бръснарят казал на помощника си да проследи човека и да му каже къде отива. След около 10 минути помощникът се връща и се смее. Бръснарят попитал:
– Какво се смееш бе? Видя ли къде отиде?
Помощникът отвърнал, смеейки се:
– У вас.

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Двама приятели се срещат. Единият, сериозен и тежък бизнесмен, изтупан с костюм, носи голяма златна обица на едното си ухо. Другият го пита:
– Какво става бе, каква е тая обеца?
– Ох, не питай… Дълга история.
– И откога я носиш?
– Откакто жена ми я намери в леглото.
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Вчера шефът ме вика в кабинета. Влизам, а той:
–От днес, ти… ще си ми дясната ръка!
Аз го гледам и отговарям:
– Шефе, малко се страхувам от своите задължения.
***** ***** **** ***** ***** ****** ***** ***** ***** ****** ***** ******Две блондинки: Вчера бях на гости на мой познат. Почерпи ме с някаква нова водка. И как беше?Две блондинки:
– Вчера бях на гости на мой познат. Почерпи ме с някаква нова водка.
– И как беше?
– …
Dec 11 2018skafeto.com

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